Anxiety and Mormonism

I was never comfortable talking about the church when I was member. Except with other members and even then I rarely went into details.

Let me give you an example of why.

Let's look at the Word of Wisdom. For those who don't know it's the code by which mormons live in regards to what is consumed food and beverage wise. Eg no alcohol, tea or coffee, no drugs, etc. As taught by the missionaries and in the class for new members it made sense. Alcohol can (and I mean can) be dangerous and coffee is addictive. Drugs, also quite obvious as is smoking.

It wasn't until a couple of years later when I came across the WoW (word of wisdom, not world of warcraft) in doctrine and covenants section 89 that it suddenly made no sense whatsoever. I remember being excited, thinking I'd gain a better understanding of the commandment instead it left me with a WTH? Feeling.

It says that hot drinks are not for the belly. Yet hot chocolate us ok? I don't know if it was universal either but in my area herbal teas were ok, but not green tea (which is super healthy for you and is considered an herbal tea).

It also talks about wine for the sacrament, and yet they use water. In fact the prayers for the sacrament say wine, and I remember searching for any info on when and why it was changed to water and came up with nada. I'm honestly suspecting (this is my opinion and I haven't researched this) but I suspect the change may have happened around the time of the prohibition.

I also remember a discussion in Institute (a weekly or even bi weekly in some areas church class) there being a discussion about how meat should be eaten sparingly, even not at all and only in times when everything else is sparse. So shouldn't that mean we should be vegetarians? And yet quite a lot of members eat meat all year round.

So when it comes to trying to tell others about this church, no wonder I felt anxious. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone would stump me with a question. And how easy it would be when there's already so much confusion within one of the biggest mormon beliefs. Especially since it has been changed and altered with time.

I used to just chalk it up to continued revelation.

But then when I learned how at one point in time there was the law of consecration, and for a time it worked. Until things eventually fell apart and they revoked the law. It made me uncomfortable because why would god instill it in the first place if the people were not ready? Was he all knowing or not?

But it was a trial of faith yes? The whole thing made me uncomfortable. Looking back a lot of it made me uncomfortable. It wasn't until I decided to explore the why that I realized I needed to leave.

Yes, this is what I do over breakfast.

I can't believe it's only been a week since I last posted.  For some reason it feels like more time passed.  I don't know if it's because of my cold of if I'm just really, really, REALLY looking forward to spring finally being here!!

This week is kind of a blur, probably because I spent most of it on cold meds.  But I did read Mockingjay!   (In less than 24 hours...)  I'm not quite sure yet how I feel about the book itself, but I really enjoyed the message in the ending.  So true!  Definitely recommend this series to everyone!  Once you get past the writing, the story grips you and doesn't let go till you've finished the last page!  And cried some.

Speaking of crying, I saw War Horse last night with a friend, and ran into more friends (double yay!)  I really enjoyed it!  Some parts of it were really hard to watch (obviously) and I had to look away a few times, but I'm glad I saw it.  The story was told very well!  I found the beginning a bit odd and kind of slow, but once it gets rolling it's beautiful!  I think Belle was glad I saw it too because she got lots of treats and some big hugs after I got home!

I read an interesting article from the Citizen this morning.  It was about how people lately are more accepting of people with extra weight, but seem more critical of those who are either slim or even underweight.  It's an interesting point and I think that happens a lot.  It's like a lot of people in the world bounce from one extreme to the next, instead of finding that happy medium.  And it hit home, because I've been critized for being too thin.

When I was younger I was probably underweight (I don't recall being called so by doctors, but defintiely really skinny).  It wasn't until grade 9 though that we discovered I had an overactive thyroid.  Tyroid glands control your metabolism (and a few other things) which therefore meant it was also overactive.  So yes, I could literally eat anything and everything and barely gain any weight.

But a rumour had started that I was bulomic.  I laughed when I found it out honestly, but now it makes me think.  People seem too quick to judge others (myself included) without knowing the full story behind the why.  Thin, overweight, it doens't matter.  There are so many factors (health, genes, food intake, lifestyle, etc) that play an impact that it's really foolish to judge others based on it without knowing the facts.

It also made me think of diets.  I personally find all diets dumb.  And I do mean ALL.  The thought of a diet, removing, excluding, limitng, etc. is rediculous.  Yeah sure you may loose weight, but it's because parts of your nutrition are being neglected and your starving your body instead of nurishing it.  So when you go back to the usual lifestyle, it all comes back, usually more comes back because your body starts to horde everything.

Diets are short term and quick fixes, but aren't solutions nor a way of gaining and maintaining a healthy body.

Changing your habits (eating, excersise, sleep and attitude) is what will really help you find what is ideal for your body.  Some people are naturally plumper, others thin.  But what matters is that your body is healthy, and functioning as it should.

Really it's all about balance.  Which is really hard to do.  But once it's managed it makes everything a whole lot easier.

Kinda like what the Gospel teaches us, no? :)