Tolerence of Opinions

Before I start I have to say I have the awesomest mom in the world.  She's more than willing to help me out, listen to me, buy me things I may need and help make my life a little mre awesome.

But, being different people, smetimes our opinions don't match up.  And sometimes it can get a little...  not even sure what word to use... tense, let's go with that!

Anywhoo, last weekend during family dinner we got on the topic of transsexuals.... yes during supper.  I don't like these topics because I feel (well know) that eventually they'll ask or I'll share my views and it'll open up a can of worms.  My mother can be very spirited and sometimes it's really tiring.

So, at one point she made the comment that the world was changing, (after we'd been discussing I forget exactly what, but obviously something about sex changes) and I kind of muttered that it was not necessarily for the better.

Now, lately I've been a bit less observant of what people are meaning when they say things and I kind of meant my comment as the whole world in general, but she thought I meant just about being able to change genders (not that I would've said much different).

But, I did feel like I was then being a bit... confronted on my views.  Like how dare I not feel comfortable with a woman who used to be a man.  It wierds me out!  I feel like people are born a certain gender for a reason and should stick with it.

I think my mom feels, and perhaps worries that I'd be intolerant of those people and that it's my religion causing me to feel this way.

I'd never discriminate against someone who had one of these procedures, but I'd definitely be a bit weirded out by it.  And, I've always felt that way, even before I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints.

But it got me thinking to how the world seems to be lately.  If you have any kind of "traditional" views, or are slightly squeemish around transsexuals or homosexuals, you're automatically branded as a hater and intolerant person.

That kind of thinking really ticks me off.  Especially when I don't get a chance to properly explain why I feel the way I do.  It wouldn't be some deeply religious sermon, absolutely not.  But it is very much my belief that we are born what we are for a reason, we have certain roles to play.  I also very much believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman.

That does not mean that I hate anyone who is homosexual or brand them as evil or think they're going to burn in the place downstairs!! Freaking heck!!  (Same goes for people who do change their gender).

BUT  I refuse to be okay with it, just because the world thinks I should be.  That's not tolerance, that's just being afraid to stand up for yourself and what you believe.

And yet, so many people are willing to oppose and even hate people who do feel this way?  But THAT'S okay??

And I'm not saying arguments shouldn't happen either.  But be respectful and give people a chance to clearly and calmly explain yourselves.  No one should feel the need to throw up their hands in the air in a passifying gesture and yell just to be heard.

I love my mother I do.  But I do get frustrated because I often feel like because I'm the youngest I don't get taken entirely seriously on matters as these.  Almost a what do I know about the world I've barely experienced it?  Yet experienced it I have.  I've seen plenty of things and met many different kind of people.  And the only people that I harbour bad feelings for are ones who have personally hurt me or someone I love.  OR whom I've not given a proper chance to get to know them.

They could be bright purple with yellow polka dots and have three heads and I'd love them.  So long as they are kind people.

So all I ask is that you give me a little slack as well.  Give everyone some freaking slack so that we can all have some measure of peace yes?

Crunch Time

It happens every year.  (Well this is my third year).  You've spent the winter thinking "oh I've got plenty of time" and then it suddenly hits you:  Oh crap.  Show Season's around the corner!!  When did this happen???

I won't deny, part of me doesn't even want to write this blog post because I feel like I'll jinx it.  In truth, I still don't actually fully know I'll be competing.  I know I will, but I kinda won't believe it till I see it if you know what I mean?

Belle's progress has been in leaps and bounds and it makes me so happy, so grateful that after every ride I just think: thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!  Cause it's all I can think.  Yesterday with the cool weather, she was having a blast!  Cantering (she would manage it in  a small space), bucking, turning and rearing.  I didn't realize the pony knew how!  Never seen her do it!

It was nice to see, but also terrifying.

Every time I ride I'm afraid it'll be too much and that she'll break again.  But I keep reminding myself that this time's different.  It feels different, she feels so good it makes me grin, and I've been praying before and after every single ride.

But, I think partly why I'm afraid is also because around this time last year, things were also going really really well and then it all poofed.

Although yesterday I had a short, but interesting conversation with someone.  My friend was having a jumping lesson while me and another boarder were tacking up and getting ready for a dressage test practice session!  She asked me if I jumped as high as my friend was jumping and I told her than I used to before I stopped jumping.  (Okay, not actually sure what height she was jumping because I didn't actually look, so I could've accidentally lied).

I went on to say that it was partly because Belle can no longer jump and that since then I've come to really, really enjoy dressage.  So I'm quite pleased with the switch (minus the extra memberships).  It made me grateful too, because I don't think I would've ever given the sport a chance had I not been thrust into it.

Things definitely happened for a reason.  And plenty of good has come out of it!  So much so it leaves me speechless.

I still haven't told the pony yet, though I may have accidentally let it slip.  My original plan was to just surprise her when we showed up at a dressage show.  So I'm hoping she didn't hear me.

I realized yesterday too that I'm more nervous about showing dressage than I was about doing the jumpers.  Which, oddly enough, is a relief.  I've been kind of worried that part of me just gave up on jumping and went to dressage because of fear.  But the fact that I'm even more nervous makes me realize that it's what I actually want to do.  Because otherwise, why would I be scared?

So, just have to do my best to be ready for June 9th!  And remember to send in my entry form way earlier than was needed in jumper land.

Shorts in March

Yesterday was the second time this month I pulled them out.  Definitely odd, but not going to complain too much since I got to ride my pony outside!  Though it is a little worrying since the poor ponies still have are their winter fur and need a lot more time to get used to this weather.  So I'm quite thankful it's cooling off soon!  (So long as it doesn't cool off too much... haha!)

I've gotten back into the habit of reading a lot of articles.  I tend to drift in and out of interest in keeping up with the world, but lately enough of the headlines have been catching my interest.  So much so I'm tempted to subscribe to the ottawa citizen!  But I like the non paper using method of reading it from my phone.

Anywhoo, earlier this week (goodness is it only wednesday?  Feels later for some reason!)  I read an article about how a women in... Ohio I believe, got a visit from a sherriff because she jokingly posted on facebook that she was going to murder her husband.  Obviously joking, but I did find it interesting that they check up on these things when people report them.

Now, earlier today one of the boarders where I worked was talking about the auto correct on her phone... And then I started giggling.

iPhones can connect to facebook, and they have auto correct.  I remembered an e-mail my dad had sent me ages ago with a (rather hilarious) list of auto corrected messages.  One of them was a guy saying how his date was so great he "killed her in the woods behind her house" when he in fact meant to say kissed.

Now the woman in the article had meant to write what she did and was shocked when someone took her seriously.  But then, what if it's sometimes just a fluke of technology?

Has society become way too paranoid lately?  I do remember when I was younger, it was much more socially acceptable to joke about hijacking and bombings without freaking someone out.  Now we have to deal with extra security (not necessarily a bad thing) and being more careful with our words.  What happened to being able to take a joke?

Not all jokes are appropriate, but that's also how we learn to interact with others isn't it?  Sometimes we might hurt someone's feelings, or freak someone out, but a lot of the times, maybe it's the laugh someone needed.

It also makes me concerned about all this political correctness and adding more laws and blah blah blah, just ugh man.  Laws won't force people to be moral human beings.  If anything it will just speed the downward spiral even more.  Teaching correct principals from an early age (parents, teachers, church leaders, etc) will.  Remember back in the day when marriages lasted and people actually worked out their problems, themselves?  (And no, I don't think it was the fact that divorce wasn't allowed.  Partly sure, but it made people realize that they'd have to work on things for them to get better didn't it?)

I feel like I'm rambling.

But so many people complain about taxes (myself included), but our society is becoming more and more dependant on police and laweyers to solve problems instead of just preventing the problems in the first place.  Like realizing that perhaps someone posting on facebook that they're going to kill someone is just joking.  And being more willing to forgive others and not be offended (though I also struggle with that too).

We have so many tools given to us, that we carry around with us that if society would just back off and let people develop them, then maybe the world would be a better place.  At least one with lower taxes anyways.

"So and so needs a woman with a strong hand." "I handle horses."

I remember once upon a time when I would have thoughts but keep them to myself.  I'm letting my sassy side out more and I quite enjoy it.  :)

It's interesting because within the past few weeks a lot of awesome things have been happening to my friends.  Getting engaged, having their first child, pretty sweet!  Though during those moments I used to always feel that pang of longing and "when is it my turn?"

But lately I've just felt a huge amount of peace.  Now when friends get into relationships or get engaged, I can genuinely be just happy for them cause I know when the time is right it will be my turn.  I just have to let Him guide me and life will be more awesome for it.

Plus there's been this shift in me recently.  I'm not sure when it started, but I know going to the Temple really helped secure it.  But I've felt a lot more comfortable with who I am and I'm far more confident letting myself show it.  My sassy side is coming out more often and I'm not afraid to say things that before hand would've left me completely mortified.

I still blush like a tomato but meh, at least I've said it!  (Like the title to this blog, muahahaha).

I'm totally grateful for the friends I have too.  Through small and simple things have been a huge support and guideance and example and it's so easy to be myself around them that I feel it a lot easier to take that extra step out of my comfort zone.

And I forgive myself a lot faster for not asking guys out when I want to (there were people around, heh), but I find myself doing things to try to be like: Hey I'm interested!  Cause part of me is still to shy to come right out and say it... But that's also part of me, and I've learned to live with it.

I guess really I've just gotten a lot more comfortable in my own skin.  It feels good to be me.

In other news, Belle would really like to trot.  She keeps telling me so.  She'll be really good for about seven minutes and then starts prancing, stressing out, swishing her tail and being like: Yo!  Mother!  TROT!  Sadly for Belle her owner is extremely forgetful about calling vets, especially when she has to call again to see if the vet even got her message (I hate phoning...)  My bad...  But it's really nice to see, because she obviously feels really, really good!

I've also been actually writing lately.  A short story that popped into my head.  My breakthrough happened when I decided to actually use pen and paper and lo and behold, I wrote three pages!  I hit a little snag with it sadly, but at least it's actually something!  And for the first time in a while, I didn't want to put it down to go to work, and eagerly went straight back to it!  I may post it on here when it's finished.  We'll see. :)

I learned recently too that a route I previously thought wasn't an option for me, has been an option all along.  For as long as I could remember I've wanted to be a combat engineer.  It's what my dad did and his stories always made me really want to join up and do the same.  (Blowing up bridges?  Sweetness!  Hiding out in the rain and laughing hysterically during a war game?  Priceless!)  But I always thought you'd have to go through University and get a degree... Then I learn from my parents that to be an officer, yes, but not for non commissioned members.

This was me:  Oh really? *eye quirk* Then: 8D  There was also a lot of giggling and arm flailing... Yes I am that kind of girl.  And yes, basic training sounds like fun.  Brutal, but definitely fun.  (And don't worry, I know it's not all fun and games.   I'm an army brat, I've grown up with it).

I've been thinking for quite a few years now (since about college) of joining the reserves.  I just want to make sure it's a doable path for me.  I don't want to cut out more horsey time than necessary, and there's more in my life now to consider than there was while I was in college.

Sometimes I miss not having responsibilities, haha!  But it feels right and if it's meant to be things will work out somehow!

Also My favouritest song ever.

Yes, this is what I do over breakfast.

I can't believe it's only been a week since I last posted.  For some reason it feels like more time passed.  I don't know if it's because of my cold of if I'm just really, really, REALLY looking forward to spring finally being here!!

This week is kind of a blur, probably because I spent most of it on cold meds.  But I did read Mockingjay!   (In less than 24 hours...)  I'm not quite sure yet how I feel about the book itself, but I really enjoyed the message in the ending.  So true!  Definitely recommend this series to everyone!  Once you get past the writing, the story grips you and doesn't let go till you've finished the last page!  And cried some.

Speaking of crying, I saw War Horse last night with a friend, and ran into more friends (double yay!)  I really enjoyed it!  Some parts of it were really hard to watch (obviously) and I had to look away a few times, but I'm glad I saw it.  The story was told very well!  I found the beginning a bit odd and kind of slow, but once it gets rolling it's beautiful!  I think Belle was glad I saw it too because she got lots of treats and some big hugs after I got home!

I read an interesting article from the Citizen this morning.  It was about how people lately are more accepting of people with extra weight, but seem more critical of those who are either slim or even underweight.  It's an interesting point and I think that happens a lot.  It's like a lot of people in the world bounce from one extreme to the next, instead of finding that happy medium.  And it hit home, because I've been critized for being too thin.

When I was younger I was probably underweight (I don't recall being called so by doctors, but defintiely really skinny).  It wasn't until grade 9 though that we discovered I had an overactive thyroid.  Tyroid glands control your metabolism (and a few other things) which therefore meant it was also overactive.  So yes, I could literally eat anything and everything and barely gain any weight.

But a rumour had started that I was bulomic.  I laughed when I found it out honestly, but now it makes me think.  People seem too quick to judge others (myself included) without knowing the full story behind the why.  Thin, overweight, it doens't matter.  There are so many factors (health, genes, food intake, lifestyle, etc) that play an impact that it's really foolish to judge others based on it without knowing the facts.

It also made me think of diets.  I personally find all diets dumb.  And I do mean ALL.  The thought of a diet, removing, excluding, limitng, etc. is rediculous.  Yeah sure you may loose weight, but it's because parts of your nutrition are being neglected and your starving your body instead of nurishing it.  So when you go back to the usual lifestyle, it all comes back, usually more comes back because your body starts to horde everything.

Diets are short term and quick fixes, but aren't solutions nor a way of gaining and maintaining a healthy body.

Changing your habits (eating, excersise, sleep and attitude) is what will really help you find what is ideal for your body.  Some people are naturally plumper, others thin.  But what matters is that your body is healthy, and functioning as it should.

Really it's all about balance.  Which is really hard to do.  But once it's managed it makes everything a whole lot easier.

Kinda like what the Gospel teaches us, no? :)