Moving Out!

A New Blog

Come on over, if you wish. :)

Observations and Thoughts

I've spent a lot of time on postmormon.org since leaving the church. It's brought me a lot of solace and deeper confidence in my choice to leave.

But I've noticed something that's a recurring theme. The church has brought pain to a lot of people. I had it easy. I was the only convert in my immediate family, I didn't care what people would think because if they cared or disapproved, or tried to re convert me, I could sever ties and be done.

It hurt in some cases. For sure. But one thing that I still have is five years of memories of being mormon. And more than that I still fully understand the thought process behind decisions and words. Which is why I didn't talk to many people about my leaving. I know what was going to be said. Different versions of the same thing over and over again.

But I digress. While you're in the bubble, it's shocking to hear that anyone would want to destroy something as good and pure as the church. If only they knew, if only they understood.

Ironic that I find myself thinking the same way, looking from the out in. If only, if only.

Pain, is something that is shared by many ex mormons. Betrayal, exclusion, depression, fear, anger (a lot of anger) and so many other emotions. People trapped by wanting to make their families happy, even though they know the truth. Families torn apart because one or more members resign.

No wonder I've become vehemently opposed to religion. It preaches unconditional live and yet the opposite is true. If there is a god, I can't see them caring about the petty things like sexuality and dress codes. Heck, I can't even see them caring about our behaviour.

We have such a huge capacity for reason, thinking and imagining that anything is possible. W are creative beings, but our morality is in our hands. That's why things change. That's why there are movements and demands for equality. We learn as we go, and what worked then won't work now. Too many things have changed for that and we'd be fools not to see it.

I'm totally rambling, my thoughts get away from me when I'm moody.

Summer Playlist

These songs I think fit my life very well.  Either because of the lyrics, or because of the emotions I feel while listening to them.


Brave, Sara Bareilles

Catch My Breath, Kelly Clarkson

 

Love Song, Sara Bareilles

King of Anything, Sara Bareilles

Raise Your Glass, Pink

 

People Like Us, Kelly Clarkson

Tattoo, Jordin Sparks

Perfect, Pink

Part of Me, Katy Perry

Roar, Katy Perry

See You Again, Carry Underwood

Who Knew, Pink

Elysium

This is another one of those if you haven't seen it yet, don't look, cause I'm gonna blab and blab and blab.

So, it was really, really well done and I really enjoyed it.  Awesome acting, great visual effects and I really enjoyed the filming.  (I apologize for saying really so often).

Do you know what my favourite part was though?  The fact that Max, who's dying, actually struggles with it for the whole movie.  And this is why it made me so... I think happy is the wrong term for this situation, so let's use relieved.

There are times when you're reading a book, watching a show (I find it happens more in anime), where suddenly during a scene a character suffers some form of bodily harm or illness or fill in the blank.  The author/director carries it on for a couple of scenes, and then suddenly, despite being on the verge of collapsing, the character can keep going for the rest of the episode.  Sometimes two.... Sometimes even longer.  And every time that happens I go: Oh frig really?!  What happened to: oh man I'm gonna pass out soon!

If you're character's wounded and about to pass out and you describe them having blurred vision.  Frig have them pass out ten seconds after that.  Otherwise it's just a cheap trick for suspense that actually kills the realism in a story.  Which for me, kills the mood that was trying to be put into place in the first place.  Urgency.

I was worried going into Elysium that it would be another one of these cases.  If you've seen the trailers, you know that he's sick and needs to get to Elysium so he can get better.  And they show lots of fight scenes and action and yadda yadda, so I was very concerned he'd get sick, but be able to walk around doing whatever.

But no!  No! Not only does he not magically regain amazing stamina, he never fully regains his full strength.  First he's given medication that'll will keep him functioning till he dies, then he's outfitted with the exoskeleton cause he can barely stand, let alone walk and forget fighting in that condition.

And not only that!  Not only that!  He still, still needs help because his body is shutting down and at very inconvenient times.  Like when being chased by one very scary psychopath who's very determined to kill him.  Apparently he took offense to getting his face blown off.

So, as odd as it may seem, it seriously fills me with glee when a story incorperates something like this, and employs it perfectly.  If a character is dying, make me scared that he'll die before he succeeds.  Keep reminding me that he's dying.  Worsen their condition.  Keep me at the edge of my seat wondering how it'll all turn out.

So, I highly, highly recommend seeing this movie.  It was awesome!  Well written, great actors, vfx very well done and just all around, a great movie!

Plus Matt Damon without a shirt.  Just saying.

That Figures

I realized something this week.

I've been working on a story about Hades and Persephone. Uberly excited about it!! And it's been writing very well, I don't remember the last time I wrote this effortlessly.

Then I realized that it was the same with fan fiction. I can easily pump out a story based on a game or book but I realized its because it's comforting using characters and ideas people are already familiar with. However with my own characters and stories I have to introduce everything. Whereas with fan fiction you can kind of cheat a little.

So I'm hoping to use this Greek mythology based story to use the comfort of familiarity to practice developing story and character. (I had a better sentence in my head and half of it vanished before I wrote it, blast!)

One of these days it will again be easy for me to write my original stories!!!

But in the meantime I'm having a lot of fun with the god of the underworld!

Overpopulation

A couple of months ago now I read Dan Brown's Inferno. I highly recommend it. It's thrilling, exciting and even better makes you think. About a rather terrifying subject.

Without giving too much away, one of the characters in the story is extremely concerned with overpopulation and the effects it has on the planet. We are past the earth's sustainability. We are running out of resources.

The character then says something rather controversial and says the black plague was in fact a very good thing. Population numbers were booming and the sickness culled the numbers. The scariest part of that exchange was when I found myself agreeing with the character.

My mother and I were talking about it this evening and at risk of causing I minor explosion of admitted that as much as I am grateful for medicine, it's too good. People live longer and less sickness kills us. It sounds absolutely vile to say but we're loosing humanity's only predator: disease.

It's like in an ecosystem, when the pray has a larger population than the predators, the system suffers and the herbivores devour their resources. The opposite is also not good, but nature requires balance.

I won't give away what happens in the book, but I will say I support the antagonist and his views, for the most part.

Overpopulation is the planet's greatest risk, and it grows exponentially.

Here's a scary image.

So when I hear people against gay marriage worry about replenishing the earth, that scares me even more. The earth is plenty populated. If something is not done there will be nothing left for us, nothing left for the future generations.

I personally don't want kids of my own. If I change my mind, I'm adopting. I just quake at the thought of adding to the population.

Anxiety and Mormonism

I was never comfortable talking about the church when I was member. Except with other members and even then I rarely went into details.

Let me give you an example of why.

Let's look at the Word of Wisdom. For those who don't know it's the code by which mormons live in regards to what is consumed food and beverage wise. Eg no alcohol, tea or coffee, no drugs, etc. As taught by the missionaries and in the class for new members it made sense. Alcohol can (and I mean can) be dangerous and coffee is addictive. Drugs, also quite obvious as is smoking.

It wasn't until a couple of years later when I came across the WoW (word of wisdom, not world of warcraft) in doctrine and covenants section 89 that it suddenly made no sense whatsoever. I remember being excited, thinking I'd gain a better understanding of the commandment instead it left me with a WTH? Feeling.

It says that hot drinks are not for the belly. Yet hot chocolate us ok? I don't know if it was universal either but in my area herbal teas were ok, but not green tea (which is super healthy for you and is considered an herbal tea).

It also talks about wine for the sacrament, and yet they use water. In fact the prayers for the sacrament say wine, and I remember searching for any info on when and why it was changed to water and came up with nada. I'm honestly suspecting (this is my opinion and I haven't researched this) but I suspect the change may have happened around the time of the prohibition.

I also remember a discussion in Institute (a weekly or even bi weekly in some areas church class) there being a discussion about how meat should be eaten sparingly, even not at all and only in times when everything else is sparse. So shouldn't that mean we should be vegetarians? And yet quite a lot of members eat meat all year round.

So when it comes to trying to tell others about this church, no wonder I felt anxious. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone would stump me with a question. And how easy it would be when there's already so much confusion within one of the biggest mormon beliefs. Especially since it has been changed and altered with time.

I used to just chalk it up to continued revelation.

But then when I learned how at one point in time there was the law of consecration, and for a time it worked. Until things eventually fell apart and they revoked the law. It made me uncomfortable because why would god instill it in the first place if the people were not ready? Was he all knowing or not?

But it was a trial of faith yes? The whole thing made me uncomfortable. Looking back a lot of it made me uncomfortable. It wasn't until I decided to explore the why that I realized I needed to leave.