Observations and Thoughts

I've spent a lot of time on postmormon.org since leaving the church. It's brought me a lot of solace and deeper confidence in my choice to leave.

But I've noticed something that's a recurring theme. The church has brought pain to a lot of people. I had it easy. I was the only convert in my immediate family, I didn't care what people would think because if they cared or disapproved, or tried to re convert me, I could sever ties and be done.

It hurt in some cases. For sure. But one thing that I still have is five years of memories of being mormon. And more than that I still fully understand the thought process behind decisions and words. Which is why I didn't talk to many people about my leaving. I know what was going to be said. Different versions of the same thing over and over again.

But I digress. While you're in the bubble, it's shocking to hear that anyone would want to destroy something as good and pure as the church. If only they knew, if only they understood.

Ironic that I find myself thinking the same way, looking from the out in. If only, if only.

Pain, is something that is shared by many ex mormons. Betrayal, exclusion, depression, fear, anger (a lot of anger) and so many other emotions. People trapped by wanting to make their families happy, even though they know the truth. Families torn apart because one or more members resign.

No wonder I've become vehemently opposed to religion. It preaches unconditional live and yet the opposite is true. If there is a god, I can't see them caring about the petty things like sexuality and dress codes. Heck, I can't even see them caring about our behaviour.

We have such a huge capacity for reason, thinking and imagining that anything is possible. W are creative beings, but our morality is in our hands. That's why things change. That's why there are movements and demands for equality. We learn as we go, and what worked then won't work now. Too many things have changed for that and we'd be fools not to see it.

I'm totally rambling, my thoughts get away from me when I'm moody.