Let me rephrase that..

So I read this blog post this morning.  By Rick Riordan, might've heard of him.  And he said somethings that really struck me and opened my eyes.

It's not my perfectionist side that's been getting in the way of my writing.  It's that I forgot why it was I got into it in the first place.

He said:

"We write, I hope, because we have a story to tell. How easy it is to lose sight of that, but the goal of writing is telling a good story. To be a writer, it’s not enough simply to love the idea of writing, or to dream of being published. You have to forget that. You have to find the story you must tell – the story so important to you personally that you have no choice but to write it. For me, I first got that feeling with Big Red Tequila, a story about a detective who goes home to Texas from San Francisco. It was a story born out of homesickness. I would have written it for myself whether it got published or not. But it felt different from anything else I’d ever done. I knew, deep down, that this story would get published. Then, with the Percy Jackson series, I had that sense again. I was writing a modern myth, an allegory to help my son make sense of who he was. I would have written it whether it was published or not. And it’s that very fact that made it publishable."

What I remember now, from when I was younger, was just being so excited that I had this story in my head and I couldn't wait to get it down on paper!  I was always excited for creative writing assignments cause there was so much in my head wanting to get out!

But I did also realize why I am struggling so much to get my fantasy series out of my head.  I do have that deep down sense that it will be published.  I felt it from the first moments it came to me.  It's different from anything else that's been in my head, and it's big.  It's special.  And I've put a lot of pressure on myself because I want to get it just right.  However, it's not going to come out if I don't focus on what's really important in writing.

The story.

And the story is wonderful, I'm in awe at it.  I love the characters, I love the world and I do love the story.  But I also realized that this story will not come out into the world unless I bring it out.  It's up to me, it's my responsibility to see that it gets written.